Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

I can remember sitting at church as a young teen and hearing all about how women ought to behave. I think I knew then, at twelve years old, that all of those “ought to” suggestions weren’t going to fly with me. I have to admit that i tried hard to deny any inkling of sexuality, and when I did “give in” (their words, not mine) to my desires or entertain any “impure” thoughts there was always a metric ton of guilt to go with the fun stuff. It took years to drudge through that emotional mess, and though I do have the occasional neurotic flare up, I have managed, with the help of a supportive and patient lover, to become a very satisfied confident and sexually open woman. The one major hang up I seem to keep running into is communicating to my lover that though I am generally the sexual instigator, I need to be pursued from time to time. I haven’t a shred of a fear of rejection or anything of the sort, and I get a thrill from grabbing my lover by the hair and climbing on top. I would say that such a thing is quite an accomplishment for a former chruch girl that was constantly pelted with messages of submissive this and obedient that. Maybe my ass is just getting old … maybe I’m losing it.

After almost four years in my current relationship, I still couldn’t say all of this aloud. Then the other night, after some interrogation and tears, I managed to just spit it all out. I was terrified. I felt as if some part of me had gone wrong, like some facet of me had betrayed the rest. I never wanted any smidgeon of submissiveness in any part of me, and that exactly what I felt all of this was. Then after I was done rambling on and on, try to explain away all of it, and after discussion then sleep, my husband made it all better. He climbed into bed the next night, wrapped himself around me from behind and began to kiss my neck as he ran his hands all over my body. I felt alive, sexy, and back to my old self. That night was the best sex I can remember in a least a year. I realized I wasn’t getting old, I wasn’t losing it. I just needed a little spark, even if that spark was a simple little switch. I realized that sometimes I simply want to be seduced … I want to be wanted, and there was nothing wrong with that need, nothing wrong.with that spark. Whatever it is that blows your hair back, don’t be afraid to share that need with your lover. Don’t. Be afraid that your desires may be too wild or too mundane. It just might be the little kindling you need to light your sex on fire.

What the Fuck Am I Watching?

(If the embed code doesn’t work, try viewing the video on YouTube)

Go ahead and watch this video… let it sink in. Finished? Got it all absorbed? Oh, where to begin?

Aside from the bizarre statements (such as comparing casual consensual sex to rape) and the hammy, over-the-top “keepin’ it real” feel evocative of a shitty nineties PSA, everything in this video is either completely nonsensical, or outright harmful to a healthy sexual mindset. The worst part? People are listening to him.

Just… wow…

(Oh, by the way… happy 2012!)

Happy 2012!

Welcome to the 2012! We’ve been busy, so please excuse the paltry output thus far. Despite the year being only six days old, there’s already plenty to write about. Looking forward to another year of exploration!

Monday News: Criminalize Fornication, And Other Things

Monday’s round up of sex-related news…

In the “ripped from the headlines of 1850″ department, “family” group head calls for criminalization of unmarried sex.

From the “shouldn’t have used the company car for that” files, a Mississippi mayor has to explain why a sex shop purchase ended up on his official credit card.

And finally, coming straight from the land “are you fucking joking,” three senior men are busted in a public sex sting.

Got any interesting stories to submit? Send them to [email protected], or send me a PM.

Rest Well, Hitch

Christopher Hitchens, arguably one of the greatest writers of our time, passed away on December 15th. Hitchens, whose writings spanned every conceivable topic, was most well known for his acidic, yet articulate, criticism of religion.

Diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 2010, Hitchens continued to soldier on, despite going through massive setbacks such as losing his ability to speak.

Attempting to sum his life’s work here would be a disservice, so in the inquisitive spirit he’s inspired in so many lives (including my own), do yourself a favor and pick up one of Hitchen’s many books, maybe read a few of his columns.

You’ll be missed, Christopher Hitchens.

No Review This Week, So Here’s Some Pics

Sorry, kids, there won’t be a review this week. The plan was to review some fun, um, “personal products,” but unfortunately for everyone, those plans just fell through. So no detailed descriptions of the anti-friction properties of the product and its applications to enhance what goes on in the bedroom, at least not this week. Also, our media computer broke, so no reviewing dirty movies for now… Continue reading

Sex Ed for the Tech Generation

In a world ever more dependent upon technology, is it any wonder that video games may be the new frontier for aiding in sex education for the kids. This week Privates is making headlines in both the tech world and in the world of human sexuality. Gone are the days of learning about sex by eavesdropping on the  conversations of teens, scrounging for dad’s magazine stash, or painfully uncomfortable lessons in middle school health classes usually involving some phallic shaped fruit or vegetable. In the era of internet searches, it’s a safe bet that our kids are learning at least some of what they know of sex on their computers. It seems Dan Marshall and Size Five Games, in the ultimate stroke of genius, have decided upon a directed way for the kids to learn about birth control, safe sex, and std prevention – through their video game! The new game, rated for age fourteen and up, was impressive enough to bring home a BAFTA award last month. Here’s to the new era in sex education!

Monday Quickie

Republican Family ValuesDue to the holidays, we’ve been slacking on posts. In lieu of a news-like article, I’m just going to cut to the chase and send you off to Salon to read an article about those wacky conservatives and their obsession with other folks’ sex lives. Enjoy!